FUNDOO T-SHIRT QUOTES

 Choose from over 300 T-Shirt quotes

• Reality keeps on ruining my life


• If you can’t take the heat, don’t tickle the dragon


• Don’t judge me based on your ignorance


• I wear the brains in the family


• Nice person…wrong planet


• If you could read my mind you wouldn’t be smiling


• Smile…it confuses people


• I’m usually slim and gorgeous, but it’s my day off!


• You cannot have everything. Where you put it?


• Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7^th of your life


• Who stooped payment on my reality check?


• Puns are bad, but poetry is verse


• A single fact can spoil a good argument


• Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway


• The weather is here, wish you were beautiful


• I had a life once…now I have a computer


• Eat right, stay fit, die anyway


• Smooth seas never made a good sailor


• Bad is never good until worse happens


• Money talks but all mine ever says is “goodbye”


• I get enough exercise just pushing my luck


• Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research


• When I am punctual, nobody’s there to appreciate it


• Sorry, I don’t date outside my species


• I have nothing to declare except my genius


• It’s not enough to aim, you must hit


• All true wisdom is found on T-shirts


• It’s been Monday all week


• In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity


• If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side


• Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess


• I’ll conquer my procrastination problem. JUST YOU WAIT!


• No one listens to me until I make a mistake


• After all is said and done, usually more is said than done


• Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good


• Egotism: Doing a crossword puzzle with a pen


• Every silver lining has a cloud around it


• Justice: A decision in your favour


• Talk is a cheap because supply exceeds demand


• I don’t get even, I just get more odd


• Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult


• If you are rich…I am single


• If something’s hard to do then it’s not worth doing


• Don’t interrupt me when I am talking to myself


• Happy? Don’t worry, you will get over it


• As I said before, I NEVER repeat myself


• Baby philosophy- if it stinks, change it


• A single fact can spoil a good argument


• If you don’t like my opinion of you – Improve yourself


• If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?


• A pessimist is an optimist with experience


• If you need space, join NASA


• Most people deserve each other


• Sorry if I look interested! I’m not!


• If your dog doesn’t like anyone, you probably shouldn’t either


• Wit is educated insolence


• They spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever


• Heaven doesn’t want me. Hell is afraid I’ll take over


• Be yourself; everyone else is already taken


• How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?


• Just when I find the keys to success, someone changes all the locks


• I am not selfish…I just want everything!


• I love attention…Just not from you


• I am always satisfied with the best


• I’m not as think as you drunk I am


• Artist seeks boss with vision impairment


• Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men


• Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular


• Don’t you hate it when life doesn’t follow the manuals?


• I just wish my mouth had a backspace key


• Know thyself- but don’t tell anyone


• Laugh at your problems; everyone else does


• Love means nothing to a tennis player


• My job is secure. No one else wants it


• Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand


• To err is human. To admit it is a blunder


• I put the fun in dysfunctional


• Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself


• Too many freaks, not enough circuses


• I’m the person your mother warned you about


• I’m modest and proud of it


• The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist


• Everyone is entitled to my opinion


• I don’t suffer from stress. I am a carrier


• When everything’s coming your way, you are in the wrong lane


• Love your neighbour, but don’t get caught


• The voices in my head are telling me I don’t like you


• I’m not totally useless! I can be used as a bad example


• Don’t drink and drive…you might go over a bump and spill your drink!


• Your future depends on your dreams – so go to sleep!


• We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops


• If wishes were horses, I’d own a stud farm by now


• Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs


• Where there is a will, there are 500 relatives


• Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner


• I’d like to help you out; which way did you come in?


• Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity


• I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent


• The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted


• Success is a relative term – it brings so many relatives


• There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead


• It’s not hard to meet expenses, they’re everywhere


• It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail in the process


• The men without money are behind our money


• My favourite mythical creature? The honest politician


• A conclusion is what you reach you get tired of thinking


• Borrow money from a pessimist – they don’t expect it back


• Classic: a book which people praise, but don’t read


• Logic will get you from A to B. imagination will take you everywhere


• On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key


• When you are right, no one remembers. When you are wrong, no one forgets


• There are 3 sides to any argument: yours, mine & the right side


• Hard work will pay off later. Laziness pays off now!


• If you can’t change your mind, are you sure you still have one?


• Marriage is give and take. You better give it to her or she will take it anyway


• Work fascinates me. I can look at it for hours!


• It’s not an attitude; it’s the way I am!


• Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot


• I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out


• You can’t buy love. But you pay heavily for it


• I think, therefore I’m single


• Good girls are bad girls that never get caught


• Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you


• I’m not cynical. I’m just experienced


• Age is a very high price to pay for maturity


• Never make the same mistake twice. There are so many new ones to make


• I don’t have an attitude. I have personality you can’t handle


• Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?


• Sarcasm is just one more service I offer


• Don’t hate yourself in the morning. Sleep till noon


• Anyone going slower than you is an idiot. Anyone going faster is a maniac


• By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends


• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory


• Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most


• There is an angel inside me whom I am constantly shocking


• This isn’t an office it’s hell with fluorescent lighting


• Stupidity is not a crime, so you are free to go!


• The trouble with real life is that there is no danger music


• See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil


• Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity


• Aim for the stars, but first, aim for their bodyguards


• If no one understands you, doesn’t mean you’re an artist


• I’m not anti-social. Society is anti me


• There’s never a wrong time to do the right thing


• Our life is simply what our thoughts make it!


• Experience is like a comb. You get it when you’re bald!


• The shell might break before the bird can fly!


• A ship in the harbour is safe. But that’s not why they are built!


• This the excellent time for you to become a missing person


• You’re a habit I’d like to kick – with both feet.


• You laugh at me ‘coz I’m different. I laugh at you ‘coz you’re all the same


• Leadership is action, not position


• I hear you are connected to the police department – be a pair of handcuffs


• Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up


• Born to party, forced to work


• I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit


• Leadership is doing what is right when no one is watching


• If man could create a perfect woman, he’d probably cheat on her


• Join the army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them


• I could kill for a noble prize


• Many people quit looking for work when they find a job


• I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder


• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something


• What is popular is not always right and what is right is not always popular


• When I’m in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded


• Sometimes ‘the majority’ only means that all the fools are on the same side


• I was born intelligent, education spoilt me


• I lied to get the job, they lied about the job. We’re even


• I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up


• There cannot be a crisis today. My schedule is already full


• I’m not getting smaller. I’m backing away from you


• Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive


• Humour is just another defense against the universe


• Hug me for the best results


• Budget: A method for going broke methodically


• If things get worse, I’ll have to ask you to stop helping me


• If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished!


• Love takes up where knowledge leaves off


• Forgive many things in others, nothing in yourself


• There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness


• The only way to have a friend is to be one


• Nothing will work unless you do it


• Every noble work is at first impossible


• Write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them


• Men always want to be right


• Never mistake motion for action


• Humour is mankind’s greatest blessing


• The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing


• Love is the beauty of the soul


• A philosopher always knows what to do until it happens to him


• Inflexibility is the hallmark of the tiny mind


• A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband


• Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen


• Crime doesn’t pay…Does that mean my job is a crime?


• The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures


• Those who trim themselves to suit everybody will soon whittle themselves away


• It’s no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts


• The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes


• Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better


• What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others


• I can’t remember if I’m the good twin or the evil one


• Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done


• I’m not tense, just terribly alert


• Smile, it’s the best thing you can do with your lips


• Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed


• Punctuality is the virtue of the bored


• The best things in life are for free. So stop working


• Nothing succeeds like excess


• Strangers have the best candy


• Life is too important to be taken seriously


• I don’t want to earn living; I want to live


• There is no sincere love than the love of food


• Why be difficult when you can be impossible?


• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?


• I’m sorry, but you looked better from far away


• School prepares you for the real world which is equally bad


• Mental floss prevents moral decay


• Facts are stubborn things


• I’ve a firm grip on reality. Now I can strangle it


• Typos? Blame my cat


• I used up all my sick days, so I called in dead


• I’m not only weird. I’m gifted too


• You never know what you know!


• Beat the 5 o’clock rush – Leave work at noon


• If you don’t like the news, go and make some


• How can I miss you if you won’t go away?


• I’m one of those bad things that happen to good people


• Every time you open your mouth, some idiot starts talking


• I know Karate, Kung Fu and 47 other dangerous words


• Earth is full. Go home!


• I went for a freak show and they let me in for nothing


• It’s hard to be nostalgic if you can’t remember anything


• Don’t treat me differently than you would the queen


• We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars


• Guys have feelings too. But, like…who cares?


• Treat each day as your last, one day you will be right


• Two wrongs are only the beginning


• I can handle pain until it hurts


• Humpty Dumpty was pushed


• Ask me about my vow of silence


• How does a bulb know when it has an idea?


• You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP


• I’ll try being nicer when you try being smarter


• Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win


• In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity


• Looking good is a curse


• The days of digital watch are numbered


• Stop reading my shirt


• Every woman is a rebel, and usually in wild revolt against herself


• My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met


• Never answer an anonymous letter


• I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you


• Teach me the rules…and I’ll teach you how to break them


• Ability is what gets you to the top if the boss has no daughter


• When you’re down and out, drag somebody else with you


• Lethal use of farce


• There is no ‘me’ in team. No, wait, yes there is!


• Forgive your enemies as nothing annoys them so much


• I find it easier to fight for principles than to live up to them


• All I ask is to prove that money can’t make me happy


• A good pun is its own reword


• People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing everyday


• Anyone who makes an absolute statement is a fool


• Can you think of another word for synonym?


• Blessed are the censors; they shall inhibit the earth


• Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery


• Give a sceptic an inch and he’ll measure it


• Great minds run in great circles


• How come wrong numbers are never busy?


• Illiterate? Write for free help


• Let’s hope god grades on a curve


• Knocked; you weren’t in – Opportunity


• Love thy neighbour: Tune thy piano


• Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely


• How is it possible to have a ‘civil’ war?


• The chief causes of problems are solutions


• The early worm deserves the bird


• Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do


• Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?


• All that glitters has a high refractive index


• A little drama never hurt anyone


• I’m not lazy, just motivationally challenged


• As a matter of fact, the world does revolve around me


• Stupid people make my brain sad


• I think, therefore I can’t sleep


• 99 per cent angel


• A day without sunshine is like night


• Just who do you think I am?


• I not use all the brains that I have, but also all that I can borrow


• If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried


• Be unique and different, just say yes


• Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe in chocolate


• Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have a film


• You are only as good as your last haircut


• True friends stab you in the front


• A hangover is the wrath of grapes


• All men are idiots, and I married their king!


• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana


• One tequila two tequila three tequila floor


• Live your life so the preacher won’t have to lie at your funeral


• The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason


• God, if you can’t make me skinny, please make my friends fat!


• Time is the best teacher, but it kills all its students


• The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much


• I’m not a complete idiot. Some parts are still missing


• I can’t remember the last time I forgot something


• What is a free gift? Aren’t all gifts free?


• Never mess up an apology with an excuse


• Never test the depth of water with both feet


• If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen


• Coffee, chocolate, men…Some things are just better rich


• He who laughs last, thinks slowest


• You are depriving some village of its idiot


• I need not suffer in silence when I can still moan, whimper and complain


• One good turn gets most of the blankets


• Next time you get the urge to think…don’t!


• Good morning is an oxymoron